American Politics as a High School

American politics are no different than a high school, and Donald J. Trump is riding his dirt bike through the halls.

No one can stop him. The football team would go to jail for assault if they unleashed strength against him. The cheerleaders can’t distract him. The straight-A students would do something, but are too busy holding themselves together before AP testing time. The theater kids could hamstring if not end him, but they are having too much fun to do it. The newspaper geeks could even silence him, mostly, but the five-year-old official Twitter account has never gotten this much Twitter stuff before. The school administration should have thrown him out months ago, but somehow he’s not actually breaking the rules on paper. Meanwhile, the weirdos/outsiders/individuals are hitting their collective heads against the wall for not sounding the alarm first.

The great cornerstone of the American High School is censorship and totalitarian obedience. Lockstep through the halls. From one half-baked indoctrination to the next. Bare walls otherwise covered in status quo. Useless colors of drama against the forever gray background. A stratified pecking order covering up an anarchy of aimless emotional blobs. Now some of the blobs are emotional about and ultimately fed up with the pecking order.

This plays out succinctly in the current situations of both parties. For the Republicans, the football players have been derided as being too friendly with soccer players — loyalty trumps bipartisanship. Meanwhile, the Democrats are wondering why an over-achieving sophomore club president is more qualified than a senior. All the while, rumor and intrigue follow. Did she really txt that? Has the homecoming court taken their roles too seriously? Did they balance out the profits of the silent auction with profits from the bake sale?

Either way, the worst of the teenagers look like they might soon run the school.

Cover Photo:
Max Goldberg, “Trump in Ames,” January 19, 2016, Flickr, CC BY 2.0, accessed May 19, 2016,


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