Goodbye to All That: Banishing 2016

What is the story behind 2016? Inevitably what this question is really asking — at least, in large part — is, ”So, what’d you think about the election?” I want to keep this bit as abbreviated as possible, so here are some month-over-month tweets in which I talk about politics (but also gyros). Interestingly enough […]

President Adams is Laughing.

The organic matter residing within the umpteen dimensions of space and time that constitute the grave of our Second President, John Adams, is emitting laughter. Instead of a dystopian hellscape after the election, we are living in a political outcome that has taken “President Adams ‘great fear’” of factionalism to farcical levels. The 2016 presidential […]

American Politics as a High School

American politics are no different than a high school, and Donald J. Trump is riding his dirt bike through the halls. No one can stop him. The football team would go to jail for assault if they unleashed strength against him. The cheerleaders can’t distract him. The straight-A students would do something, but are too […]

Trump/Grump: The First GOP Debate of the 2016 Election Cycle

This is the lightly-edited transcript of last night’s live tweeting, written by editor Dan Gorman. 9:09 PM, Thursday August 6, 2015 C.E.: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND We are live tweeting the GOP debate. Donald is on his worst – best? – behavior. 9:11 PM: Kudos to @megynkelly for actually asking tough questions tonight, and hammering Donald Trump’s sexism. #GiveEmHell 9:15 PM: John […]

Lena Dunham: Satire or Bigotry?

Although I, a Caucasian upper middle class woman in her 20s, fit the profile of the target market for the HBO “sitcom” Girls, I have frankly never seen the appeal of either the show or its creator, Lena Dunham. I realize that this thought is not novel. Many have criticized Dunham and her character Hannah […]

Pulp Fiction: Bojangles’ To Sue Every Restaurant Over Brunch Rights

This article was originally published in The Daily Pulp on December 8, 2013. Bojangles’ Famous Chicken ‘n’ Biscuits, a popular fast food chain in the Southeast released a press release earlier this week claiming that it will sue every restaurant that serves brunch, claiming to have been first to the market when it opened its […]

Pulp Fiction: Aspiring Young Professional Goes To Coffee Shop For Next Big Idea, Drinks Coffee

This article was originally published in The Daily Pulp on October 8, 2013. “It took me 30 minutes to pick out what I was going to wear here,” admitted 24-year-old Gabe Kirkland as he blew down on his steaming, off-white coffee mug. At noon on a Sunday, Kirkland has been at his neighborhood coffee shop—just a […]

Pulp Fiction: Breaking: Edwin McCain A Liar

This article was originally published in The Daily Pulp on September 15, 2013. September: fall breeze, a football tossed in the air and a time when only one thing is on everyone’s mind—self-improvement. Yep, September is National Self-Improvement Month, and while this makes no sense whatsoever (January feels like the logical choice, but hey, we’re not […]

Pulp Fiction: “Cross Country” Epidemic Terrorizing High School Students

This article was originally published in The Daily Pulp on August 25, 2013. A silent pandemic has been invading the lives of hundreds of thousands of male high school students across the nation and has been cited as expanding exponentially like a recursive virus over the past decade. Cross country (a.k.a. “XC”) is said to […]

Humor: The Anatomy of the Perfect White Person Jam

I’ve been a white person my whole life. But for years, the music industry has missed the mark on really capturing my demographic in the most efficient way. The demo is simply scattered all over the place: country, acoustic rock, whatever dubstep is. Diversity in music, who needs it? Ugh! It’s time to let the […]